Birthday trauma

Margaret's third birthday is approaching. Quite a milestone, I think. We've set a number of goals for her third birthday, and we talk about them a lot. They include

1. No more nuk nuks. Margaret is still using her pacifier at night and at other times when she needs a calming influence (such as road trips to Philly)
2. Going potty in the big potty (rather than using diapers, which are basically gone anyway at this point, or the little kid potty)
3. Working on her reading skills (because Margaret is such a big fan of books that she's just a small mental connection away from starting to read)

Now, some of these goals are clearly more important than others. The continued reliance on the nuk nuk is an obvious embarrassment. On the one hand, I'm pleased that she isn't a thumb sucker. After all, some kids walk around permanently connected to their comfort device. I always figured that it would be easier to take away her nuk nuk than it would be to take away her thumb. We'll soon test that theory. Having the nuk nuk available has also been useful, if not a life saver, during a long flight or car ride. On the other hand, she won't be able to use it forever, and we have to break her attachment at some point. I'm not sure if she's rational enough to understand giving up her nuk nuk at this point (and she certainly uses it exactly at times when she's least rational), but we figure that we'll try. She seems amenable to giving it up, but that could just be a theoretical ratification that is abandoned at bedtime. The potty will probably involve less resistance as she's not as attached to her kiddie potty. Still, Abby and I are both looking forward to getting rid of the little potty as, for some inexplicable reason, emptying a poopy little potty is much more disgusting than changing a poopy diaper. And the reading goal is really just tossed in to match the number of goals to her age, although she seems smart and attentive enough that it could happen. And given her genes (embodied in her mom, her cousin Alex, her aunt Rachel, and, I suppose, her papa), there's some precedent for early reading.

One issue that Margaret appears unable to overcome is her aversion to birthday parties. Actually, she loves birthday parties for other kids. And she loves her own birthday parties once they get started. But for each of the last three birthdays - incidentally, the only ones she has experienced - Margaret has melted down when her party starts. For the last three years, we've had a party with the Philly cousins and a random smattering of grandparents. As soon as the cake is brought out and the singing begins, Margaret has started to howl. In the most recent case, she recovered quickly, especially once she tasted the icing (and certainly once presents appeared), but she really wailed at first. I suppose her response reflects overstimulation and the attention being paid to her, but it's certainly an odd thing to do at one's birthday party.

Here is a retrospective of pics from birthday parties for years 1 through 3.



Of course, she eventually gets over it...