Bedtime battles

Life with a three year old involves many battles. Getting dressed, using the potty, eating dinner - each may or may not involve its own little power struggle between us and our little sweetheart. (As an aside, I think that Margaret randomizes, perhaps strategically, over whether she'll put up a battle for a given task. Will she get dressed tomorrow without yelling about it? Who knows.)

Lately, the most prominent battles have occurred at bedtime. For the past month or so, as soon as the light has been turned out, Margaret has declared, "I can't sleep." There's no lag at all, just an immediate declaration: "I can't sleep." We've tried all sorts of tricks to encourage her to sleep. I've made the "Grandma Mary" argument - your body is tired, so just close your eyes and try to rest your body - that was used on me as a child (and, hell, I still use that approach as an adult). For a while that worked as Margaret would rest and eventually fall asleep. We've tried bribery: If you sleep tonight, you can go for a walk with Mama and Maddie tomorrow. And we've tried moral suasion: The teachers at daycare (and the Berenstain Bears) say that you should avoid bedtime battles and should instead listen to your parents.

Lately, however, none of that has worked, and she's been much more difficult at bedtime. If we leave, she gets more and more agitated to the point that she ends up yelling for us (really Mama) at the top of her lungs. In the worst case scenario, such behavior ends up waking the boy, so we end up with not one, but two kids who are awake at 10:00.

In the past week or so, disruptions to Margaret's sleep schedule have exacerbated the problem. She stayed up until 11:00 after the fireworks on July 4th. Then after we had people over the next night, she was too wound up to fall asleep again until around the same time.

In the past, she would settle down after a few books. Even though we've started reading her "big girl" books without pictures (e.g., Beezus and Ramona), she doesn't calm down in the same way. (As another aside, it's very exciting that Margaret shows such enthusiasm for big girl books. But that's a subject for another, more positive post.) And none of our previous tricks, such as the "Grandma Mary" argument, are working either. Even if, in desperation, we give her a nuk, defying every parenting bone in my body, she still won't go to sleep. Instead, Abby or I (more commonly, Abby) end up sitting with her until she finally nods off, which takes way longer than we would like.

Good grief, what a lame post. I'm complaining about a normal toddler "phase." At least I hope that it's just a phase. But even if it is, we're reaching the end of our rope with her. (Any advice from current or former parents would be greatly appreciated.)