Thursday, April 9, 2009

How to deal with a pesky brother

Today, we had our usual drama during our trip home and while making dinner. Margaret demanded things - "I want to walk" and "I want a pretzel" (despite the lack of any evidence that pretzels were available) and so on - in her usual pleasant way. Then, when we got home, the kids took turns melting down as I made dinner. The cacophony finally reached a crescendo when Teddy tried to take Margaret's paper shopping bag as Margaret tried to put her backpack in it while simultaneously pushing the stroller for her doll. The pushing and shoving escalated, the bag eventually ripped, and both kids started screaming. Since we had already called Mama's cell phone for a sanity break, we figured that we'd call the Philly relatives on speakerphone, hoping for a distraction at the least and perhaps some words of wisdom. A rough transcript of our call is as follows:

"Hello."

"Hi Joe. It's Mark." (kids bellowing in unison in the background)

"Hi Mark! What can I do for you?" (very enthusiastic response from Joe)

"Can I talk to Andrew or Alex?"

"Sure!"

(A pause as Joe tracks down one of his kids.)

"Hi."

"Hi! Who's this?"

"Alex."

"Hi Alex. Listen we've got a bit of an issue here. Margaret and Teddy are fighting because Teddy keeps trying to take Margaret's toys. We're hoping to get some advice about how Margaret should deal with a difficult younger brother."

(Another pause while Alex thinks about the request. Both of the kids have stopped screaming and are listening to the phone call. First goal of this phone call accomplished.)

"Umm, put him in a closet."

"Well, Alex, that's pretty good advice. It certainly would solve the problem on one end. But I'm not sure that Teddy would like it very much. Do you have any other suggestions?"

(Another pause.)

"Let me get Lizzie. Ask her."

"Naw, Alex, you're much more articulate than Lizzie. Given your vast experience with the subject matter, can't you give us some advice on how to deal with a difficult younger brother?"

(Another pause.)

"Well, let him have it because he'll probably get bored with it pretty fast. Then you can get it back."

"Did you hear that Margaret, let Teddy have it! Once he loses interest and doesn't want it anymore, you can have it back!"

(Margaret appears to be contemplating the suggestion.)

"Great advice, Alex. Thanks!"

"No problem."

(Mission accomplished. We sign off on the phone call.)

"Wow, Margaret, did you hear Alex's great advice? What did she say you should do when Teddy tries to take one of your toys?"

(A long pause as Margaret considers the question.)

"Put him in a closet."

4 comments:

unk s said...

bravo!

eblomstrom@gmail.com said...

Good thing you don't have any closets on the main floor! That was a funny, funny post.

Anonymous said...

We laughed and laughed. Great post, Mark. Grandma Mary

Anonymous said...

Good story, well told and very funny. Probably didn't seem quite so amusing at the time. Alex has a good handle on how to cope with brothers.
Nancy